The STOP Campaign
STOP is an acronym for Stop, Think, Options and Positive Parenting. The initiative encourages parents to consider the impact of smacking on a child’s development and self-worth. This stems from research carried out by NICCY – the Northern Ireland Commissioner for Children and Young People, which found that 63% of the Northern Ireland public would support a change in the law to protect children from smacking. This viewpoint aligns with evidence from international research which shows that physical punishment can cause real harm to children’s health and development, and does not actually help parents to manage difficult behaviour. NICCY is in favour of changes to legislation that would see Northern Ireland children given the same protection as other children across Europe.
Director of Family Support Services at Parenting NI, Muriel Bailey and her team regularly provide support to parents dealing with complex family and behavioural issues which can cause considerable stress for parents. In such situations, a reactive response such as smacking can be common. Instead, STOP calls for parents to take a step back and consider implementing other positive parenting techniques that will result in more positive outcomes.
The STOP initiative also recognises the role that childcare professionals have to play as agents for change and aims to equip them with knowledge and guidance on children’s rights and best practice methods for dealing with behaviour issues. It is hoped that this will give them greater confidence to share this information with parents.
The Law on Physical Punishment
Corporal punishment was outlawed in state-run schools (and private schools where at least part of the funding came from government) by the British Parliament in 1986. In other private schools, it was banned in 1998 (England and Wales), 2000 (Scotland) and 2003 (Northern Ireland).
The rules for punishment at home differ however. Parents in the UK are still legally allowed to smack their child or children, if they feel it is ‘reasonable chastisement’ in relation to the offence, but if the violence used is severe enough to leave a mark such as a scratch, bruise or is otherwise deemed excessive, a parent can be prosecuted for assault, or the child can be taken into local authority care. This raises the question – where should a parent draw the line?
Former NI Children’s Commissioner, Patricia Lewsley, lost an appeal against the law in 2009, however current NICCY commissioner, Koulla Yiasouma continues to highlight the need for change, particularly following recent findings by the European Committee of Social Rights which show that the Republic of Ireland have violated the European Social Charter by not banning all corporal punishment of children, including hitting at home.
Ms Yiasouma said, “The UK is one of the few European countries that does not ban physical punishment in every aspect of a child’s life. Children in Northern Ireland deserve the same protection as children living only a few miles away and as adults all over the world.”
Although, the ruling by the European Committee of Social Rights does not apply to Northern Ireland, Ms Yiasouma points out that The UN Committee on the Rights of the Child has repeatedly called on the UK Government to end all violence against children, including hitting at home. NICCY and other organisations including Parenting NI will continue to work towards securing these changes to protect Northern Ireland children in the same way that adults are protected from assault.
So in light of all this information how should parents approach the disciplining of their children to maximise the benefits for the child and themselves?
Positive Parenting Tips from Parenting NI
Parenting NI have collated the following 5 pieces of advice for parents to help them to introduce positive parenting techniques within their homes. These tips aim to remind parents that children learn from the actions of those around them, including their parents and highlight the need to lead by example, whilst setting sensible boundaries.
- Be a good role model – children learn from the behaviours exhibited by their parents and those of influence around them.
- Give clear guidelines – set rules and be clear about what is acceptable behaviour so that children are aware of what you expect from them.
- Consequences and consistency – if rules are broken there must be consequences which are realistic for each child based on their age and stage of development. Parents must consistently follow through with the consequences outlined.
- Praise your child – use praise whenever possible and encourage children to continue behaving in a positive manner. Try to avoid being critical.
- Spend time with your children – the more time you spend with your child or children and listening to them, the easier it will be to encourage positive behaviour.
Will sparing your child from a gentle smack lead to a spoiled child or result in a more positive experience for both parents and children alike? Each child is different and there is no singular right or wrong way to parent. There is no doubt, however, that smacking is no longer a wildly accepted method of discipline and parents should consider a move to using a non-physical, positive parenting approach. We understand that parenting is very difficult and parents individual methods should be respected not shamed where they remain permitted by law. Always bearing in mind that any cases of real, actual abuse can never be tolerated and should always be reported. Share your thoughts with us at law@lukecurran.co.uk
